My dad passed away this past July. My writing has been blocked ever since. I have ideas but when I start to write the idea down, my pen does not move. Help me. I am so frustrated. I have been reading books about this subject to no avail.

--Maggie Grinnell

Dear Maggie,

Before I say anything else, let me say that I am very sorry to hear about your loss. What is most important when you lose a parent is allowing yourself to grieve. Don't make yourself wrong for not being able to write at this time.

Many emotions come up when you lose a parent. Some of them might not be emotions you want to feel. You may feel anger, for example. Or you may feel guilty about taking any pleasure in your life (though I doubt your father would have wanted that). You may have unresolved issues with your father.

It is important to remember that any emotion you resist will stay with you. If you've ever noticed, happiness doesn't last very long. That's because we don't resist it. Negative emotions hang around longer because we try to deny them.

Whatever you feel about your father's death, let yourself feel it. I don't believe that you're "blocked". What you are doing is stopping yourself from feeling whatever you are feeling. My advice: allow yourself to feel the pain, the loss, the sorrow, whatever you are feeling, even if you think you're not supposed to feel that way.

Try this: get a timer and set it for 5 or 10 minutes--whatever feels more comfortable. Then do these 3 exercises.

1. Write "Dear Father" at the top of the page. Then start the timer and write immediately--before you have any idea of what you're going to say. Write whatever comes up--no matter how silly, crazy, stupid or scary it may seem to you. Just let your emotions out. If you need to, set the timer again--and then again if need be. Say everything you need to say--in short spurts. That way you don't have to experience the most uncomfortable emotions too long--just long enough to let them out.

Do not judge anything you write. There is no right or wrong way to do this exercise. The timer works because it gives you "boundaries". It means you only have to stay with the most distressing or scary emotions for a short period. Do this every day for 5 or 10 minutes until you feel the emotions subside or you feel you've given full expression to whatever you were holding inside.

When you hear the voice inside you that says, "I don't want to do this," or "This is too painful" or any of the other stuff that voice says to you, allow that voice to be there, don't fight it, say "okay I hear you" and keep on writing. Don't try to write well. Don't try to impress yourself. This exercise is just for you--and your father.

2. In this second exercise, write the first 7 words that come to mind when you think of your father. Let's say, for example, that "argumentative" is the first word that came to you. Use that word as a trigger. Set your timer for 5 or 10 minutes and go. Write whatever comes to mind. It doesn't matter if what you write relates to your father or not. Do this exercise every day for a week. If necessary, choose 7 more words about your father that come to mind and do this exercise again once a day for another week.

3. In this third exercise, write the first 7 words that come to mind. These words may have nothing to do with your father. The first word you choose may be the word "leaf", for example, or the word "pool". Use each word as a trigger in an exercise. Set your timer for 5 or 10 minutes and go. Write whatever comes to mind.

One last point I'd like to make, you say you have "ideas." Thinking about writing is very different from the experience of writing. Our "ideas" are often in our "heads", while what we really want to write about is stuff we're not even aware of until we start writing. This is the stuff from our hearts. This is the stuff we hide or deny. What is important is going with whatever feels alive for you, whatever has energy.

Losing your father is a major event in your life. The only way to get over losing your father is to be with that experience. Any experience that affects you deeply will be rich and inspiring for your writing--even if you never write about him directly. I am sure that if you let go of the feelings you're holding "in", you will let the writing out.

My best,

Roberta

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I need to hear an author's opinion on this. Okay, say you were sitting down, daydreaming, and then you got an idea for a story without pencil and paper. You think out the plot of the story, and how you want it to go. And you get really excited about it. Then, later on, you think about it, and start to dislike the idea. What would you call that? Is it just me criticizing my work, or would it be considered writer's block, or is the story really not that good anyway?

What do you think?

Sarah, age 11

Dear Sarah,

Thinking about writing and the experience of writing are two different things. A lot of stuff that goes through our minds is just chatter or, as they say in Buddhism, Monkey Mind.

I know there are writers who plot their stories and write them according to outlines. Personally, I think that knowing everything in advance takes the excitement and surprise out of writing. To me, what is most exciting are the things that happen unexpectedly when we let ourselves tap in to our energy with timed exercises, for instance.

The mind that "thinks" of stories is a smaller mind than the one that writes spontaneously without judging. It is not exciting to me to write what I already know, what excites me is the possibility of knowing something new, of seeing something from an angle or perspective that I wouldn't have imagined before writing it down. Allow the unexpected to happen. Give yourself the freedom to go deep inside. Imagine yourself on a voyage. Let writing be a process of discovery.

When you are writing from the deeper part of yourself, that chatter--while it never goes away completely--fades into the background.

I've learned that the ideas we return to again and again in life are the ideas that move us, that have energy for us. These ideas often have roots in something unfinished or incomplete from our pasts. These ideas are often springboards into something deeper that wants to be written that we aren't aware of until we start writing.

Writing in your head is not writing to me. The proof of a story is what happens on paper. If the idea doesn't have enough "life" or "energy" to make it to the page, I would say it was not an idea that really moved you.

Sarah, keep doing timed exercises till you find material that connects you to something deep inside yourself. The timer creates pressure and brings energy to the surface while the topics you pick focus your attention. You can use my Playful Way exercises or close your eyes and pick a random word out of the dictionary as a trigger. Or use a phrase in a magazine or a book or a line you hear on television or the radio. Or find a picture or snapshot that moves you, then set your timer, and go. See what happens.

My best,

Roberta

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I am an aspiring writer with lots of material and ambition. How do I begin to get published without a lot of out-of-pocket investing? While I feel confident I have what it takes to become a successful freelance writer, getting published is the stumbling block.I have been submitting material to various publishing agencies and magazines, and have been consistently turned down. I am going to be 50 years old this September, but have yearned to be a professional writer since grade school. I feel really close to learning the ropes, but it would be helpful to be pointed in the right direction.

Thank you for your assistance!

--Sherry Wofford

Dear Sherry,

What you need to submit are query letters--not articles. That way you don't waste time writing finished pieces that editors may not be interested in. Writers I know, who've written for magazines for years, send out several queries at a time to different magazines. Most of them are turned down. So you need a lot of ideas. Persistence and patience pays off.

Make sure you write a good query letter. The query letter should reflect the magazine's style and interests. There are books on writing for magazines that I'm sure include sample query letters and you can also probably find this information online.

Study each magazine before you submit a query. Each magazine has its own style, its own angle. Be familiar with the publication and the kind of stories they run before you write to them.

Hope this is helpful to you.

My best,

Roberta

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I love your book The Playful Way To Serious Writing. Iam almost done, but I do haveone question: how do I make those 5 to 15 min writings into a longer fiction?

Thanks, Anne

Dear Anne,

Of course, I am happy to hear that you love The Playful Way to Serious Writing! There are quite a few answers to your question. Everything I am about to tell you here can be found in my book Fast Fiction: Creating Fiction in Five Minutes. I will tell you what I think is most important but I suggest you check out the second half of that book for a more detailed account. I don't think I can do in a page or two what I do in 100, but I don't mind trying. Here goes:

First, decide whether you want to take the whole exercise and make it into a longer fiction, or whether you just want to expand a part of it. Look to see where the "energy" is for you. Even if you want to expand the entire exercise there is going to be a particular place where there is more energy--more life. Underline or mark that part in some way so you don't lose sight of it.

Before you continue your fiction, decide whether or not you want to make a "plan". A plan can be nothing more than a brief statement that answers these 3 questions: 1. How does the story start? 2. What happens in the middle? 3. How does the story end?

Keep in mind that the middle is most of your story. Also, allow your plan to change as you write. The plan is simply a "helper" so you can feel some ground beneath your feet. Answer these questions quickly--without thinking.

After you have your basic plan, you may want to ask yourself: Who is telling the story? Who are the characters? Where and when does the story (or novel or novella) happen? Over how long a period of time?

These questions will help you see the basic shape. Again, answer them quickly. You can always change your mind.

Here are some other ways to look at your exercise before you continue the writing. Answer these questions quickly.

Pick a character or characters in your exercise that you want to know better.

1. What excites you about this character or characters?

Pick a problem that you want to expand upon or deepen.

1. What excites you about this problem?

Pick an incident that you want to expand upon or deepen.

1. What excites you about this incident?

Pick a setting or create one that is important for your story.

1. What excites you about this setting?

Here are some ways to continue your fiction without a plan:

1. Keep setting your timer for 5 or 10 or 15 minutes--whatever time feels more comfortable, and ask yourself: what happens next?

2. Keep setting your timer, and use the sentence or phrase with the most energy in your last exercise as a trigger for the next one. Underline that sentence or phrase so you keep it in mind as you write.

3. Keep writing without the timer until your energy runs out.

4. Pick a random "playful way" exercise and set your timer to continue your fiction.

5. Pick a "playful way" exercise that has "energy" and use it to continue your fiction.

6. Pick a "playful way" exercise that feels connected to the fiction you are writing, set your timer, and go.

Write an entire draft of the story or novel or novella before you revise. It's very important to have as complete a first draft as possible. You can always change things later when you revise. Don't change them now. Just try to "see" the story as a whole.

STOP WRITING WHENEVER YOU FEEL YOURSELF LOSING ENERGY. IF YOU HAVE LOST ENERGY, YOU HAVE GONE IN THE WRONG DIRECTION. Save all your drafts. That way you have a safety net. You can go back and see where the writing went eoff'.

Here are some questions to ask yourself when you start revising. Your feeling tells you what works and what doesn't work in your fiction. The more writing you do the more you will trust your feelings. Make decisions, however, even when you're not sure. If you save your drafts as I've suggested, you can go back and try other possibilities. Allow yourself to be wrong. Are your exercises connected? Is the point of view working well? Will your beginning grab the reader? Have you introduced a conflict? Have you created tension? Are there unwanted shifts in voice, tone, rhythm, or distance? Do some parts move too slowly or too quickly? Does one incident lead to another? Is there needless repetition? Does the conflict reach a high point? Have you found the right ending?

As I said, allow yourself to write a complete draft before you change it. There will be parts you don't like. Leave them. Until you have a sense of the whole fiction, you will be wasting your time if you revise.

Anne, I hope this column will be of help to you.

My best,

Roberta

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How to Write When You're Depressed
by Roberta Allen

Emily, one of my students, told me she was depressed. She hadn't been writing because she was depressed. I told her that writing would help bring her out of her depression if she let herself get more into her depression. Remember, what we resist grows stronger.

Here are some exercises to do when you're depressed. Do them even though you don't feel like it, do them even though you don't want to. When you're depressed, you don't feel like doing anything, because all your energy is locked up. Writing can unlock that energy. What is most important in doing these exercises is your honest and spontaneous response. Writing may feel hard. Do it anyway. Under normal circumstances I tell you to go with your energy, but when you're depressed, you must unlock it first. Your willingness is what makes the process work.

You need a timer to do these exercises--an egg timer is okay or buy one from Radio Shack. The timer is important because it helps bring energy to the surface.

Close your eyes for a minute and take a deep breath. Just let yourself be in your depression. (Don't resist it). Then write across the top of a sheet of paper, the heading "My Depression." Set your timer for three minutes and quickly list all the words that come to mind. It doesn't matter if you don't instantly see a connection between that word and your depression. Just list them without thinking. (If you don't know what your depression is about, these exercises will give you an opportunity to find out). Choose any one of those words, set your timer for five minutes and relate this word to your depression.

Don't try to figure out what to write in advance. You want to catch yourself unawares and find out what's really on your mind so write down the first thing that comes to you as quickly as possible. Just let yourself write for five minutes. See where the writing leads you.

If, for example, you choose the word "dry", you may write about the dry leaves in autumn and how they depress you because it means winter is on its way and you still haven't looked for a new job which you promised yourself you would do.Then you might go on to write about your job or whatever else comes up.

Do this exercise for every word on your list. You should have a pretty good picture of your depression when you finish.

Now look at each word you've written and write the opposite of that word. For example, if you wrote the word "dry" on your depression list, write the word "wet" on this list. Set your timer for five minutes each time, and write a piece about each of the words on this new list. Each time, write whatever comes to mind. I think you'll find yourself going in new and unexpected directions, and in the process, releasing your energy and lessening your depression.

For more exercises to help you understand your emotions, refer to those in my books, THE PLAYFUL WAY TO KNOWING YOURSELF and THE PLAYFUL WAY TO SERIOUS WRITING, both published by Houghton Mifflin.

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ON TIME

Many students ask me: When do you write? Do you write every day? Do you put aside a certain number of hours? And so on. I am not one who believes in what I call the "militaristic" way of writing--writing every day at a certain time whether I want to or not--except if I am writing, for example, a magazine article on deadline.

I am grateful that I don't have to wake up at a certain hour each day and go out to a job. I don't have that kind of schedule. But I don't believe that people who go to work need to keep themselves on tight schedules when it comes to writing. When someone asks me when I write, I say I write whenever I can. Sometimes it's between phone calls, sometimes it's between students. Sometimes I have the luxury (without necessarily the money) to write all day or all night if I like.

If you do not have to write for a living, then you too have the luxury of deciding, even if you don't have a lot of time, how much time you will devote to writing and when you will do it. What it really boils down to is this: how important is writing to you? If writing is a chore like doing the laundry, why are you doing it?

If you do not love writing, I suggest you find something else to do that you love. It's true that writing gets hard at times, but if you aren't willing to put up with the hard times, then writing is probably not for you.

Every day I make a choice. Actually I make many choices. Every day I decide if I'd rather write this morning or buy the groceries or do the laundry. Every day and evening I decide if I'd rather write or go hear a reading or go see a movie or have my hair cut or go see my mother in the nursing home or meet friends for dinner or pay my bills or return phone calls or buy a pair of shoes, etc. etc. etc.

Of course, when you have children and a spouse, you have others to think about. But if writing is important to you, you will find that few minutes or that half-hour here and there to do it.

Sometimes you don't feel like writing. Make it okay with yourself not to write when you really don't feel like it. If you never feel like writing, well, that's telling you something: If I were you, I would think about my reasons for doing it in the first place.

On the other hand, if writing is important, listen to yourself; listen to what may only be faint stirrings inside you at first, and be brave enough to put aside the laundry, the phone calls, the groceries, the other chores that need to be done and give yourself the gift of writing. Don't allow yourself to feel guilty for doing it.

You'll get to the other stuff, you really will, and if the laundry goes another day, what the hell.

There are times when I really would rather pay the bills and get them out of the way or buy the groceries first so I can clear my mind to write. If you are someone who can't write unless you do your chores first, listen to yourself. You don't want anything to get in the way of your writing. Do the chores, then write.

As I've said many times to those of you who have worked with me, writing is not about words, writing is creating an experience. Words are what you use to create that experience, first for yourself, then for the reader.

In those moments when you sit and daydream at work, you could be doing one of my five-minute exercises. When you really want to do something, it's amazing how you find time to do it. You may have to sacrifice something in order to do it, but if writing is important to you, you won't feel you've made a mistake.

Remember, expressing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury. Expressing yourself is a way to connect to yourself, to others, to life.

For more exercises to help you understand your emotions, refer to those in my books, THE PLAYFUL WAY TO KNOWING YOURSELF and THE PLAYFUL WAY TO SERIOUS WRITING, both published by Houghton Mifflin.

Copyright (C) Roberta Allen, 2004. All Rights Reserved.

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I am writing a chapter in a scientific dissertation and am seriously seized with writer's cramp. I think I have most of the stuff needed forthe chapter, but am so filled with negative feelings, that I can not even put it together for a first version to send to my supervisor. Do you have any advice on how to tackle this situation?

Anders

Dear Anders,

I am working privately right now with a woman who has a similar problem. She has her Ph.D. but she needs to write articles in order to continue her academic career. At first, I wondered if she really wanted this academic career. I thought maybe she was overlooking other career possibilities that might satisfy her more than having to do something that is as difficult for her as writing articles.

What I discovered about Suzanne is that she is a perfectionist. After doing some simple writing exercises, it was clear to me that Suzanne had an exceptional writing ability but was constantly making herself wrong. To her, the writing was never "good enough."

Are you someone who needs to give yourself a break? Is it possible you're putting yourself under too much pressure? Is there something else you might enjoy writing? A story perhaps? Or an anecdote about a personal experience? If you think that writing something else when you have to write your chapter doesn't count, it may be exactly what you need.

My suggestions is to let yourself write something that's fun or as close to fun as you can imagine. The fact that it doesn't count may be what makes it fun and easy to write. Do the following five minute exercises. Set your timer first, then start writing before you have any idea what you are going to write.

Write about something that made you laugh.

Write about a day when you were really happy,

Write about a time when you did something you loved doing.

Write about a time when you felt peaceful.

Consider these exercises warm-ups. When you finish, go immediately to your chapter. Imagine that you like writing this chapter. Close your eyes for a minute, take a deep breath, and imagine yourself feeling peaceful and happy writing this chapter. If you're saying to yourself, this is silly! I feel silly trying to imagine that. Good!

Let yourself be silly. Let yourself feel stupid. And while you're being silly and stupid, let yourself organize your chapter. It's really not the most important thing in the world. In fact, even you are not that important. You are only one cog in the great workings of this world. This is not said to minimize you but simply to put things in another perspective.

If you still feel instantly negative when you look at your chapter, notice it. Let yourself feel as negative about your chapter as you can possibly feel. Wallow in your negativity. Write down every negative thought that you have about writing this chapter and let yourself feel it while you write. Write quickly before you have a chance to censor yourself. The more you resist emotions the stronger they become. So give-in. Include in your writing the following:

1) What negative feelings are you experiencing?

Anger? Fear? Frustration? Other?

2) What are your negative feelings in response to?

Writing in general?

Your topic?

Your dissertation?

Your profession?

The future?

Something else?

Your professor? Someone else?

3) Are there other times in your life that you've had the same experience? What were the circumstances? How is this experience similar? How is it different?

About the chapter: Since you have the information you need, perhaps you can simply go through the material and mark only the most important parts. When you've done that, number those parts quickly in the order that feels right to you at that moment. It's easier to reorganize something that has at least a provisional order.

Or skim your material. Write a phrase or sentence for each important point in your chapter. Don't bother about the sequence. But when you finish, put them in a provisional order. Then list secondary points under the main ones. Don't try to actually write the chapter until you have these points in place. Do this quickly. Again, if your critical mind tells you this is silly or it doesn't work or whatever negative stuff is coming up for you, just acknowledge those negative thoughts and go on.

I hope these suggestions will be helpful.

My best,

Roberta